It's 2019 And guess who's back! (I wonder who) JP:We are about to spend THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars ON MYSTERY BOXES. Ya boi, Jake Paul. I gotta tell you, I was looking over his channel, and his views have dipped a lot.
And, you know, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that a million views is not a lot. But he's got videos with under a million views, and that's- last year he was pushing like 5, 6, 7, 8 Million per video. So I'm not surprised to see that he has become a little bit more desperate for money Which is the only way to really explain his newest video Which is called "I SPENT $5,000 ON A MYSTERY BOX & You WON'T Believe WHAT I GOT... " *Ethan goes Sicko Mode* insane!" *cool transition* Jake "Buy My Merch" Paul: "So uh, basically, there's this thing on the Internet called mystery boxes" Jake "Pls Buy It" Paul: "You buy them, you don't know what's gonna be in them." Jake "Everyday Bro" Paul: "They come to your house, you open it up and it's a MYSTERY."
JP: "You could get a pile of *censor word* or you could get a Rolls Royce. So MysteryBrand is a website where you purchase different boxes with chances of winning things. *intake of oxygen* Take, for example, this "Women's Christmas" box. It costs $15.00 to open (wtf, that's an amazing deal) and you can win anywhere from "ThE mOsT eXpEnSiVe Los Angeles Realty" *visible confusion What does that even mean? (no one knows, Ethan) Realty? You can't even click it.
'Kay? Doesn't even give you more information but apparently It's worth 250 MILLION DOLLARS I love that you can't click it like There just like "trust us, there's a 250 million dollar house with your name on it." (no scam) Imagine winning a 250 million dollar house a, as like, an 8 year old And then you owe 2.5 million dollars a year in PROPERTY TAX to the government All the down tooooooo icicle. site balance *visible disbelief* *inhale* I have no idea what the "site balance" is but I'm willing to bet that this is probably what 99% of what the people are getting That is a very nice JPEG (yes it is) I wonder if they just print out a picture of an icicle and mail that to you. That would be exciting. or you wou-might be as so lucky as to win a Ginger Man - site Balance.
*Disappointment* Did they not complete this, like, what is with the "site balance"? They have boxes that go as high as $250! a Luis Vitton Supreme jacket all the way down to Nutella Chocolate print hoodie Wow (visual disgust) I'd rather get a frickin icicle - site balance to be frank with you Well, I don't think I need to look much deeper into this to know that it's a very strange, overseas scam The website is practically not even written in English What, what more do you need to know They're saying the grand prize is a 250 million dollar house JP: and today. Jake Paulers or Paul Jakers we are going to be doing our own mystery box uhm thingy magigy "Can we do that" JP: SICK!
I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE Cup of coffee? Is that what we're calling it? I don't remember Jake being this nuts JP: I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE I don't think that guy drank coffee this morning, ya know what i'm saying?
